Over the course of the past few years, I left my former
tribe of conservative white evangelical Christians. I recently heard a much more
prominent former member of the tribe, say that he was once told: “Love is not rude,
and it is rude to leave when you are wanted, and it is rude to stay when people
want you to leave.”
I may have been guilty of the latter. I may have overstayed
my welcome when my tribe was ready for me to leave. For that I am sorry. I hope
I attempted to stay for the right reasons - because I do believe in unity and
because I loved people in the tribe – and I still do - and because I thought change was possible. I’m sure those were part
of my motivations, but there was also likely the mixed motivations of fear of
being without a tribe, and the prideful motivation of wanting to make a point.
All together these motivations led me to overstay my welcome – that was rude - and I am sorry.
Today, I am first writing a letter of thanks. And second, what I hope will be a
charitable critique of some the darker elements of the history of the tribe.
First thanks! Thanks for loving me. I was without a doubt
absolutely loved by my tribe, from Sunday school teachers to pastors to professors. The love was expressed through welcome and
acceptance and sacrificial giving of time – thank you. Thank you for teaching
me that grace cannot be earned. Thanks for pointing me towards Jesus. To
paraphrase Walter Percy, because of the gift you gave me early in life, I have lived a Christ
haunted life (I mean that in the best way). Thank you for making me Biblically
literate. Thanks for helping me as I grew to recognize the importance of forming a
Biblical worldview. Thank you for encouraging learning and the life of the
mind, and for encouraging me to seek to do all things well in the name of Jesus. So truly thanks
to all who loved me well. Thanks,
especially to my first conservative community that surrounded me with love, grounded
me in the idea of grace, and wrapped me the pages of the Bible. Thanks to my
last evangelical community, who really did love me well and was quite patient
with me, even as it became increasingly clear that I did not fit in the tribe any
more. I wish the separation would not have been so painful. Truly I am
thankful. I love how I was loved and accepted. Thank you.
Now two brief critique(s). In this I want to first make it
clear that this is a critique of a system, not of people, or if there is a
critique of people it is limited to the most powerful.
1.
The great sense of belonging and love within our
community was often bought at the price of painting ourselves as the morally
superior. Morally superior to the “liberals, secular humanists, Hollywood, evolutionists,
etc.” I think there is a way to belong within a tribe that is not dependent on
denigrating other tribes. I think “othering” the people with whom we disagree
is ultimately bad for us, and for them. Once
in a Bible study I described the life of a man I did not know well as a “den of
iniquity.” Within my tribe that was a perfectly acceptable explanation of the
man’s life. In fact it was the acceptable
explanation of the man’s life. Years later when I actually knew that man, he
said, “You know the den of iniquity, was really just a den – with books.”
2.
My old tribe, white evangelicalism, has severely underestimated the degree
to which the theology of the tribe has been shaped by a sense of white
privilege and American exceptionalism. That is the polite way of saying racial
politics. I mean no offense but I think it is a simple matter of fact that the
tribe of my childhood had a de facto racial prejudice. Here are three things I
recall vividly: A) My Sunday school teacher who truly loved me, and patiently
taught us saying with great sincerity that whites and blacks should not marry
because, “what fellowship has light with dark.” B) Taking a trip to Detroit and
being warned to put our wallets in our front pockets so that we wouldn’t be
robbed by "the coloreds." C) A testimony time when a woman (she was mentally ill) stood up and
said, “We went to Detroit and I thank Jesus that we didn’t let the N--------s
push us around.” My recollection is that this was met with chuckles – I’m
certain there was no reprimand that said "No! this is not who we are as Jesus’ people" Now
of course this is anecdotal, and I have only lived my life. So I’m sure that
not all conservative Bible believing churches were this way. And again to be
clear these people loved me, and taught me the Bible. But I hope it is patently
obvious that this is racism and wrong.
What I want to make clear is that these anecdotes are a small part of the systemic sin of America that has been peculiarly manifest
in conservative evangelical Christianity. There is fairly compelling evidence
that the peculiar evangelical obsession with the “inerrant infallible authorityof scripture” was rather closely tied first to a defense of slavery, and then
to Jim Crow, and was leveraged against the civil rights movement. In fact I have
recently learned that in many ways the battle against abortion was actuallymainly a proxy fight against desegregation. So I’m sad that people whom I love,
and who love me have been misled by a system that is less than good news for
all people. I'm sad and ashamed of some of the work I did in propping up the system for a season. So, if you find yourself
still in the white evangelical tribe – I hope that you will take a long look at
the racial basis of the doctrine of inerrancy, infallibility and absolute authority. And the long history of the
tribe in - at best - remaining silent in the face of racial injustice, but more
often propagating injustice in the name of being Biblical.
So to my old tribe white
evangelical Christianity – thank you very much for everything you gave me. I
have left the tribe, and it is good. It does not mean I don’t love you, it
means the tribe doesn’t fit me anymore, and I will not be returning - it would be rude and love is not rude. I hope to
playfully, non-anxiously engage with people still in the tribe who wonder if there is
a bigger world outside of white evangelical Christianity. I hope to humbly listen to the voices of
people who were harmed by my old tribe. I hope I can be an ally in the struggle
for justice for those who have been on the underside of power. I hope I can in a helpful way name the dark
side of White evangelical Christianity.
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